Category Archives: Funnies

Harry Potter vs. Star Wars

Okay, I love Harry Potter.

No, I don’t think you heard me. I. LOVE. Harry Potter. I mean, I have the books, the movies, the wand, a washed-out container of pumpkin juice from the freakin’ amazing Wizarding World of Harry Potter that my husband took me to. My screensaver at work is Harry Potter scenes, and I use a stylus instead of a mouse on my computer because it is more wand-like. That kind of love.

I also love Star Wars (but who doesn’t?). I won’t bore you with a long, endless rant about the merits of both works, which I love for ridiculous reasons both big and small.

The below montage is hilarious. I crack up every time I see it. You should see it. Here it is. Just keep scrolling down. Can we say, Robes? Now, I don’t know about you, but once my husband saw this little pictogram, he cracked up and said he could never watch Harry Potter again. Not that he ever watches it voluntarily. He just humors me for some reason, and lets me watch it about once a month. Anyway, he spent the last movie whispering “Robes” or “The Special Ability” during all the serious parts. Thank goodness I know the whole movie by heart, or I’d have to dump popcorn on him.

Enjoy.

 

 

Thanks to:

http://www.geekinheels.com/2011/06/27/harry-potter-vs-star-wars.html

Sandwich (Ode to Liz Lemon)

β€œCan I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.”

Oh, Liz Lemon – you fictional siren of Geekdom. Who of us geeky girls has not stuffed a sandwich into our face between meetings or other important events?

What simple things in life make you happy? For Liz Lemon, it’s sitting in peace and eating a sandwich. What’s your metaphorical sandwich? Or is it literally a sandwich?

My “sandwich” is writing. Sometimes, I wish I could just be left alone (sorry ACME Co.) and write. Sometimes I just want a sandwich. Really, it depends if I’ve eaten recently or not.

But the point still stands that the simple things in life are usually the best. The chance to eat a sandwich, write your story your way, or hang out with your family. Thank you, Lemon. You are an inspiration to all of us.

30 Rock Rocks! Buy the series now!

Also, FYI, I ate a Banh mi sandwich today for lunch. It’s a Vietnamese sandwich filled with grilled pork, sliced veggies and cilantro. It’s delightful.

Exhibit A:

If you have a chance to try one, do it! You won’t be sorry.

Notes Passed at a Workshop

So J and I were listening to a great speaker about building your author platform, describing yourself in one sentence…you get the drift.

J wrote a note, and passed it to me with all the slyness of a bad math student. The following is an excerpt of our notes back and forth:

J: If I was a wine, I would be: fruity, bubbly, soft on the palate.

Me: Full Bodied*

*snort from J*

J: You: (Your writing!!) Dry, crisp, has a nice bite.

Me: That’s what he said.

*snorts from J that make our tablemates look at us funny*

Um….yeah.

*For the record, J is adorable and has a most enviable figure, so full-bodied was meant as a nice compliment. πŸ™‚ I don’t want it to sound wrong!

 

Am I funny?

There are all types of funny. Witty funny, slapstick funny, dry humor funny…Which are you? I firmly believe everyone is funny in their own way.

At PNWA this topic came up more than once. Writing funny novels is hard! More than once, a fellow writer has said to me, “I bet your books are funny! You’re funny!”

No. As in, my books are not funny at all. Not a bit. Not ironic, not slapstick…nothing. Is that weird? Do you like to write funny fiction? It’s such a talent, and I just can’t seem to understand how to do it.

I’ve been known to crack an occasional, highly appropriate (ha!) joke at times.Β  But, being funny in person is easier than writing a funny scene. Just because I can say obnoxious things with a straight face in real life doesn’t mean I can create a scene that makes a reader laugh in a book. Hey, maybe that just makes me obnoxious! I imagine there are several voodoo dolls with my name on them somewhere…

πŸ™‚

Anyway, what makes a book funny? What kind of scenes make readers laugh out loud? Personally, I’ve laughed out loud while reading some of J’s work (yay J!). I’d love to hear your thoughts.

And for the record, one of the things my husband says he loves about me most is my inability to be embarrassed by anything ever. Must be why I say those funny things!Β  Or maybe I’m just awkward.

Marinate on that.

End of PNWA Day 3

That’s it folks, it’s all over. I’ve pitched to numerous agents, had quite a few page requests, and even was able to pitch to Tom Clancy’s editor! For real, Tom Clancy’s editor! The agents were wonderful as well.

J and I even ate dinner with Tom Clancy’s editor. He works for Penguin, and I won’t name him here, but he was very kind.

Thankfully, I only made one really horrible gaffe.

During the pitching sessions you get a little, how shall we say, dizzy. There are so many agents, editors, a hundred and twenty or more other writers all jockeying around the room.

I really wanted to pitch to this particular agent who seemed very nice and was acquiring in my genre. I waited in a short line, and when it was my turn, I stepped up to the plate. I smiled, shook her hand, and she smiled.

“I think we’ve done this before.”

Um, yeah. Turns out I tried to pitch to the same agent twice. Oops! She was very nice about it, thankfully. I still feel like a doofus. Oh well πŸ™‚

And, as almost always, a representative LOL Cat:

 

What is the best number?

73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.

Name the character and you win a prize – a Unicorn*!

*This unicorn is purely fictional and will only exist in your mind. Prologue is in no way responsible for providing you a unicorn. Come on people, really?

Dancing in my cube

Is it just me? Be honest. Do you dance in your cubicle?

I find more and more often that I’m listening to music on my headphones, jamming to the beat that no one else can here. At Acme Co. we have tall cubicle walls, so no one really sees me. I’m weaving and bobbing to the music, hoping that the guy across the hall doesn’t notice. Sorry, Mark.

If you’ve never danced in your cubicle before, you should really try it. I won’t tell. πŸ™‚

Headshots

So, I’m livin’ the dream, working in IT for nameless – wait, let’s say ACME CO. In my illustrious position of providing web content and a bunch of other neatness, I also travel and speak to our customers and the public (read, potential customers) about our IT solutions. I know, it’s pretty wicked awesome.

Anyway, I was asked by our Marketing department for a headshot. It was supposed to be included in a pamphlet that would be handed out before I spoke at an event. I responded (late, so as to avoid a pic altogether) with only the following:

Apparently, this did not fly. I’m not sure why, I thought I looked quite thin. That is what every girl goes for. So, I was signed up to have my picture taken for future engagements, including webinars.

Being the wonderfully kind and sensitive coworker that I am, I forced suggested that two of my coworkers get theirs done as well, in case they have to help me or are doing their own engagements.

Seriously, do you have any idea what to do with your face? Suddenly, the camera is one me and I have no freakin’ clue what to do with my hands.

“What do I normally do with my hands? Are they above my head? Are my lips supposed to twist? I think my ear is twitching. Seriously, my eyebrows feel like they should be doing something.”

Don’t you feel bad for the photographer? I do. You would think that years of Dance photos would make me capable of this, but alas, it hasn’t. In Dance I was someone else. In these photos, I’m Denise, Web Tekmaster Guru or something and I have no idea where to put Β my elbows.

Oh well. We’ll see what happens. Hopefully it looks like this: